“You didn’t think I’d live that long” – Stevie Calrow
So who did we have this week, well: there was a rock and roll violinist with rhymes about Tchaikovsky, she joined Team Will; there was a boy with some kind of organism growing on his head and clown shoes, he joined Team Boy (what do we call his team? Boy, Boy George, George, BG, so many questions, so little time); there was an elderly gentleman who sang 3 songs with The Beatles, and hasn’t stopped banging about it since, by the way he sang 3 songs with The Beatles, he got no turns; there was a drag queen who left George bemoaning his failing “dragdar”, do you know something I have a sneaky suspicion he may be gay, just something about him you know.
Anyway onto the serious business was anyone actually good this week, yes there actually was. After last week’s damp squid of an opener, expectations were low but The Voice delivered a few decent acts in this weeks offering. There was Chase, an MMA fighter with an old school soul voice, he ended up demonstrating a move on Ricky (sadly Ricky wasn’t seriously injured). There was also Essex girl Lydia who was a redhead carbon copy of Essex girl Brooklyn from last year and just like her Essex twin she joined Team Will, maybe this year he’ll turn his Essex rapper into Britain’s Nicki Minaj or at least Britain’s Iggy.
Coachwatch: The new panel continue to reach new levels of annoyance. Turns out Paloma and Ricky are old friends and performed a “rap” twice on tonight’s ep, which was downright embarrassing, think middle age white man trying to be cool and you’ll be on the right track. Even Will the last of the original seems to have been nullified by the yawn-inducing other panellists, the rhymes have mostly gone, the unusual words have disappeared, he looks a tired man, watching the show slowly die. There were still flashes of the old Will though, like the look of horror when Stevie said that Will didn’t pick him because he “didn’t think he’d live that long”.