Couch Potato

My thoughts on TV, Sport, News, Politics and Film

Category: TV

The Voice UK S5 Blind Auditions 3: My Thoughts


“You look like a Charlie’s Angel. I’d like to be your Charlie” –

Rapidly concluding that this is the worst series of The Voice ever, ITV must be seriously regretting their purchase all though Ricky Wilson’s absence will improve S6 immensely one would imagine. So what did we have this week. Well there was the usual quirks an Asian boy singing country, Paul from Waterloo Road, Chris Waddle’s daughter who lacked the talent of her father and there was even what I think was a Voice first, there was a coaches bust up, yes you read correctly, a bust up between the most cordial judges in television. Who? Who? I hear you screaming at your screen well it the red corner was and in the blue was Ricky who frankly just sounded like a whiney bitch. Will won of course but it was a surprising bit of drama which although teased last week, actually turned out to be a genuine bust up. Ricky took issue at Will claiming that he should’ve turned, implying that he did his own thing and didn’t like people telling him what to do. That’s fine why do you need to make a big thing of it. Did you turn? No. So shut up innit. Will was just basically like bruh stop whining, you sound like a little bitch. “Oh I hate it when you do that. It makes me feel bad”, grow some balls!

Anyways enough of the drama, the music, was anyone good? Yes actually. Finally. Some decent talent. 18 year old Lauren from Ireland had a great voice, it had a little bit of huskiness and she sounded great, definitely my fave act so far along with Essex Rapper Mk2 last week and most importantly like Essex she picked the right coach, Will over Paloma.

Coachwatch: Other than the bust up. The topic of the day was waistcoats, Ricky is obviously the poster boy of them and this week appeared to have some kind of waistcoat sensor where every act he turned for had a waistcoat. George had a quiet week, as in I can’t remember a single thing he said or did, although he does appear to still be struggling with the show’s concept mind, bless think he might have dementure, poor thing. Paloma and George are struggling so much with it, in fact BBC made a special feature of them expressing how shocking when someone looks different to how they sound, maybe you should join another programme if this concept is a little beyond you guys.


The Voice UK S5 Blind Auditions 2: My Thoughts

voice-608180“You didn’t think I’d live that long” – Stevie Calrow

So who did we have this week, well: there was a rock and roll violinist with rhymes about Tchaikovsky, she joined Team Will; there was a boy with some kind of organism growing on his head and clown shoes, he joined Team Boy (what do we call his team? Boy, Boy George, George, BG, so many questions, so little time); there was an elderly gentleman who sang 3 songs with The Beatles, and hasn’t stopped banging about it since, by the way he sang 3 songs with The Beatles, he got no turns; there was a drag queen who left George bemoaning his failing “dragdar”, do you know something I have a sneaky suspicion he may be gay, just something about him you know.

Anyway onto the serious business was anyone actually good this week, yes there actually was. After last week’s damp squid of an opener, expectations were low but The Voice delivered a few decent acts in this weeks offering. There was Chase, an MMA fighter with an old school soul voice, he ended up demonstrating a move on Ricky (sadly Ricky wasn’t seriously injured). There was also Essex girl Lydia who was a redhead carbon copy of Essex girl Brooklyn from last year and just like her Essex twin she joined Team Will, maybe this year he’ll turn his Essex rapper into Britain’s Nicki Minaj or at least Britain’s Iggy.

Coachwatch: The new panel continue to reach new levels of annoyance. Turns out Paloma and Ricky are old friends and performed a “rap” twice on tonight’s ep, which was downright embarrassing, think middle age white man trying to be cool and you’ll be on the right track. Even Will the last of the original seems to have been nullified by the yawn-inducing other panellists, the rhymes have mostly gone, the unusual words have disappeared, he looks a tired man, watching the show slowly die. There were still flashes of the old Will though, like the look of horror when Stevie said that Will didn’t pick him because he “didn’t think he’d live that long”.


The Voice S5 Blind Auditions 1: My Thoughts


“Brian Turner AKA Lyrical” –

The Voice UK is back with yet another line-up change, if people are ever to take it seriously you need a consistent line-up for at least a little while but alas The Voice hasn’t been able to manage that, I mean just to remind those who have forgotten the original coaches were, Tom Jones, Jessie J and Danny from The Script as the compulsory rock representative. The latest line up change has seen Rita jump ship to X Factor, which I heard she won and the legend Sir Tom was rather unceremoniously replaced by Boy George for no reason, ageism much? I mean I couldn’t name you a single Boy George or Culture Club song and the aforementioned defector was replaced by Paloma Faith who follow in the footsteps of 3 UK chart topping females, after a brief wiki consultation I have discovered this is a club poor Paloma is not a member of, which loses The Voice some of the little credibility it had, but enough of the politics, The Voice has always been about the music with the coaches and presenters, unfortunately the awful Emma Willis wasn’t one of the departures, being secondary. So without further ado let’s talk about the music.

So highlights of today’s auditions were um well there was um and there was oh no wait. Truth be told no one really caught my attention this episode, the first contestant thought she was Beyonce, she wasn’t, although I have recommended her outfit to my girlfriend, very fetching. There was the obligatory former TV star this time Bernie Clifton or something or another, Ricky knew him. Oh there was a weird funky guy called Brian Bennett AKA Lyrical, he was interesting, he’s on Team Will. The final act however a young lady called Cody, her look was sort of a blend of various subcultures of the last 40yrs, punk, emo, goth, certainly ecletic but her voice was intriguing she chose to sing Abba but Abba like you’ve never heard before it was unusual but it was certainly good. Overall though hoping for far better for the rest of the series.

Coachwatch: Not impressed with the new panel as you’ve probably already gathered. Paloma doesn’t have the stature and is very annoying and also doesn’t like Lion King, anyone that hates Lion King has no soul whereas George well I don’t have anything against him I just prefer Tom. I do think a problem this year will be you now have 3 oddballs on the panel. Will’s no longer the quirky one, George and Paloma have both made careers from breaking the mould but I think the more mainstream vanilla talent may drop through the cracks as the 3 “misfits” focus on fellow “misfits. Ricky’s blue-eyed charm is still fully operational and he had the moment of the episode when he continued to get his new acts name wrong. “Brian Turner AKA Lyrical”.



Humans S1 E3: My Thoughts

Another chilling episode of C4’s brilliant drama playing on the age old human fear of artificial intelligence. This week Niska fully embraced her role as psycho robot serial killer only choosing not to kill another man upon realising rather than being a cheat (itself not a capital offense) he in fact a father, and single fathers are not “bad people”, in Niska’s estimation. God knows what’ll happen when she realised some of her customers in that place were fathers, if I was to guess it’ll probably involve pain. Considerable amounts of it.

Meanwhile Dr Millican who now possesses the only synth more terrifying than Niska I mean seriously who sanctioned a synth that didn’t take orders. Practically taking away the guys human rights. I guess it’s one of the messages of the show. How far is too far with regards to  government interference in individual lives. Anyways Dr Millican managed to escape his new synth and go on one last road trip with surrogate son Odi, stupidly letting his faulty synth after their shock crash. Not. Millican left Odi in the woods but safe from the dreaded recycling. Peter the synth investigator got suspended as Niska’s murder was covered up, do love a good cover up, don’t you? By the man trying to track down the sentient synths and it’s only a matter for time before he takes his anger out on his beefcake synth. Who does seem to be a bit hands on with his missus, although he probably has to be.

And finally Anita didn’t get taken back yaaaaay! The dad saw her naked and settled the debate about whether there was stuff under her scrubs. There is! Although I do wonder why she never changes clothes when other synths seem to. Laura and the daughter continued to be suspicious as Anita continued to basically excel at motherhood exposing Laura’s glaring human imperfections.  Leading the daughter to post Anita (or should that be base code) online, which sets up a nice showdown with the family and Colin Morgan (Merlin) next week. One final point synths are supposed to be better than humans at chores etc right? Because I have to say Anita’s oven cleaning was a bit lacklustre. Need to grit your teeth, girl!

Labour were not responsible for financial crisis or the recession

I consciously made the choice not to blog during this election campaign mainly because I need to revise and also because there’s been way too much to pass comment on, but today in the special leaders edition of Question Time one question and questioner of Ed Miliband really grated with me. Now I’ll be voting Green on May 7th and I have no shame in admitting I’d much prefer Ed as Prime Minster for a number of reasons but I’d prefer him to shift more to the left hence the green vote. Now the question I took issue with related to the financial crisis, an event I have researched extensively for my dissertation,  and the questioner apparently worked in “financial services”, he seemed to believe that banks were benevolent, faultless institutions that have only brought growth to the economy and seemingly believed that all our economic woes were caused by labour overspending. While it can be argued that the last labour government maybe spent too much that’s not what caused the crisis, recession or the deficit what caused all 3 was banks pure and simple, US investment banks caused a crisis which hit us particularly because since Thatcher our growth has been almost exclusively built on financial services. The crisis effectively forced the government to bail out the banks (something which was supported entirely by Cameron and Osborne) or face a collapse of the UK banking system and it’s this bailout that plunged us into the massive deficit and debt Cameron inherited. The questioner meanwhile seemed to reject claims that our almost unique exposure to the financial sector and the crisis had any role to play in the economic mess, and that someone that actually works in the sector is so naive is worrying. Of course labour weren’t blameless, had the questioner brought up that Brown’s economic policy was too reliant on banks exponential growth or that banks were too lightly regulated I’d of accepted his valid points but instead he chose to take a childish, naive approach of continuing shouting at Ed that they spent too much money. Economics isn’t that fricking simple and it’s a real shame this tory myth of labour deliberately bankrupting the country has gone entirely unchecked. It’s also a shame that the drubbing Ed took tonight will likely lead to 5yrs of austerity max from Cameron and whoever he can trick into office with him.

Revenge S4 E14-16: My Thoughts

Time to check in on the Hamptons, starting with Emily, well she’s gotten together with Ben, rejected Jack and still has the upper hand v Margaux’s vendetta, or she did it seems by targetting Jack, Margaux might have found Em’s weak spot. Margaux’s obsession is slowly eroding her humanity, a typical Revenge trope. Nolan and Louise are happily married, more or less, well it’s pretty rocky, Louise was disappointed at Nolan’s lack of attention and Nolan was disappointed about the lack of attention (from suitors lol). Either way I’m sure Louise’s murder of her brother should help smooth out the ruffles, right? And finally Victoria, and David well they’re moving on with their lives, Victoria’s nicely settled into a nice feud with the new Grayson, Natalie, the wife of Conrad’s father. After the losing the will contestatation and hiring and firing Louise’s bro, Victoria eventually came out on top as David, who happened to be dating her, discovered she was with Conrad, and after Natalie tried to set up David, Victoria managed to catch her admitting forcing Teddy to change his will. I believe that’s match point, Miss Grayson (Victoria that is!).

Stalker S1 E13-15: My Thoughts

3 episodes, 3 unexpected stalkers. Stalker remains epic, I’m not sure what CBS are waiting for to hit the renewal button. So the progression of the story arc over these eps was pretty slow, Brody met with Beth’s original stalker, they teamed up, holed themselves in some motel room and the original came up with the idea to take out Beth’s “family” ie. the team. The main focus though were the individual stories, up first was a TV news anchor who’s stalker was an obssesive fan of one of his colleagues, she wanted her fave to get promoted essentially. 2nd was Aussie lifeguard hottie who, was being stalked by her best friend who was suffering from a particularly psychotic case of hero worship and the victim of E15 was a dreamy high school basketball coach, who turned out not to be the real victim at all instead it was one of the students and her mum who were targeted by the abandoned child of the mum. That last one was my fave of the 3. Stalker’s making it pretty much impossible to guess the stalker nowadays but that’s not going to stop me trying.

Extant S1 E11: My Thoughts

This is probably gonna be my last post about Extant, I just don’t think it’s worth it anymore. So where we at, well Odin took Ethan hope and planted some kind of bomb or explosive or something into him, for what I shall now call ‘The Resistance’. The Offspring meanwhile, well we still haven’t actually seen him, Molly still doesn’t have him, and then there was some convuluted plan to save Molly’s family, which Sparks was apparently helping with but then it turned out he was working for the offspring all along because of course he was never gonna give up Katie, and here’s my issue with the show, Molly continously makes idiotic judgements on who to trust that an person who’s intelligent enough to be a astronaut simply wouldn’t make. It’s not just Molly, it’s John, Ethan, Hallie basically all the damn characters, and they all bang on about “I don’t know who to trust”. IT’S SIMPLE TRUST IMMMEDIATE FAMILY. Fuck’s sake. Anyways we finally found out exactly who Yasamoto is and frankly it was a pretty terrible backstory he was a miner, who got trapped down a shaft, the company left him, he found a meteor with stuff that made him immortal, the company paid him for his silence for his accident by giving him a share of the company, eventually they all died off and he took it over, then he waited until we could send a mission into space to get more of the “special stuff”, but they found something far greater blah blah anyway this all took over 150 damn years, and this entire plot is based on one man’s desire to live forever, fuck off actually fuck off, I’ll see out the series but I doubt I’ll waste my words on this show again, over and out ladies and gents.

Coalition S1 E1: My Thoughts

Channel 4 are on a roll in the lead up to the election with these one-off poltical dramas UKIP: The First 100 Days, I particularly enjoyed. Coalition was focused on Nick Clegg and the events that led to the UK’s first coalition since the war. Now I was particularly emotionally invested in this because as a naive 16 year old Lib Dem I was initially ecstatic and Lib Dems being in government, this show didn’t disappoint. The casting of the leaders was spot on, and the gentleman that played Clegg was made for the role, an honourable mention must of course go to the genius that is Mark Gatiss, the Dr Who and Sherlock writer, who put in a great turn as Lord Mandelson, who’s almost a real life version of Mycroft if you think about it. Now the drama showed how Nick Clegg as the fresh faced idealistic young pretender, got sucked into the Cleggmania stimulated by the debates, and how on election night itself the anachronistic first past the post voting system, kicked him in the teeth as the party got more votes, but less seats, however the hung parliament presenting an opportunity for the Lib Dems still to have a say in government. Now the options facing Clegg were simple form a coalition with the right-wing Tories who had the most seats but were the ideological opposite of the centre-left Liberals (“for god’s sake Gordon stop calling them the Liberals”) or a coalition with natural left-wing allies Labour led by jovial Scotsman Gordon Brown. What followed was quite despicable politicking, by Clegg and the Tories, and complete misjudgement from Labour, Clegg and his cronies were essentially seduced by nice paper and empty promises, but while we now know that Clegg hasn’t got an ideological backbone and is traitorous bastard. What I found most interesting was 1. the reasonings behind his abandonment of everything the party stood for and 2.the agency of Paddy Ashdown who I still held in esteem before watching this.

So first let’s talk about Clegg’s justification for negotiating with the Tories. So Clegg made a statement on the doorstep saying he speak to the relevant parties, but as Ashdown said that was just for the media, he was only gonna have serious talks with Labour right? Wrong? Clegg saw power and was prepared to do anything to take it. They went to the negotiating table with the Tories and they seemed to misjudge the power balance, THEY should have the upper hand as the Tories NEED them to govern and the Tories are coming to the table believing the Lib Dems were just talking to them out of courtesy, however immediately the Lib Dems start making concessions this pledge can go, this pledge can go, mistake, but Clegg wanted power. His justification however was that the finances are bad, ok let’s just reflect for a second, we had an economic crisis in 2008, this was 2010, now unless he wrote the Lib Dem manifesto in 2007 he should’ve known the state of the finances before the fucking election. Alas the “state of the finances” gave Clegg an excuse to abandon every single pledge, promise, idelogy and belief of his party in order to form this ConDem coalition, despite Paddy’s concerns “tuitions fees was a KEY pledge”, “some things are more important, Paddy” like what, Nick, like what ensuring bankers get a nice 7-figure bonus, “those that can’t afford a university education, shouldn’t subsidise those that can”, right so instead of allowing EVERYONE to go to university, NOONE except the rich can go to university, great fucking logic, Nick. Anyways why did the Labour talks breakdown, body language, they didn’t give a shit about the Lib Dems and it showed, also no nice paper, I suppose 13 years of government does that to you whereas the Tories were like desperate puppies eager to please (they used the best paper) not that the Lib Dems took advantage. So in the end after the Lib Dems abandoned their entire manifesto and it boiled down to one thing, voting reform, FPTP had denied the Lib Dems a fair share of the Parliament for decades, but also kept the Tories in government, this should have been the unbreachable void of the negotiations instead the Lib Dems in their attempt to play off Labour and the Tories simply ended up accepting a referendum, for a diluted, terrible form of PR, that no one was ever gonna vote for, meaning that in hindsight no Lib Dem policies have been passed. Labour meanwhile had voting refom in their manifesto.

On to the role of Paddy Ashdown for the most part he was exactly how I’d expected, as a party stalwart, he emphasized ideology at every turn, he tried to guide Nick down the right path but then for some unknown reason on the day of the Lib Dem party meeting to vote for the coalition with mortal enemies the Tories, when he was coming to the meeting to resign, he suddenly made the biggest of U-Turns, he supported Nick. Suddenly he saw this fantasy world that Nick was living in and renounced his ideology also “he’s made us take them seriously”, no Paddy he’s sold the soul of the party for power, if they took us seriously we’d have voting reform or at least one policy. What they did is whisper sweet nothings in Nick’s ear about being Deputy PM and he did whatever it took to spin that to his peers, and you fell for the con Paddy. Anyway’s Paddy’s rubber stamp of Clegg and the coalition, persuaded the members to vote in favour and the coaltion was born. If Paddy had resigned that day, the country may have been better off. The Lib Dems certainly would’ve been it is ironic that the only thing that’ll keep them in Parliament is the voting system, the Tories fought to protect, it’s like Clegg could see the future.

Overall, a wonderful piece of television by C4, but certainly doesn’t hide the fact it’s coalition bashing having said that, Labour are also portrayed in a pretty bad light. One thing’s for sure anyone that watched won’t be voting Lib Dem.

Revenge S1 E12-13: My Thoughts

Well Malcolm Black, didn’t last long did he, one of the world’s most dangerous men according to David, lasted a grand total of 3 episodes, well 2 and a bit. Then again considering he was taking on Ems, David, Victoria, Jack and Jack’s partner, he clearly had no chance. No idea why such a big-time ganster would only have to 2 henchmen though, a bit odd, but no point questioning Revenge logic, best to just sit back and enjoy the fun. Talking of fun, Lolan got a lot more serious, (not relationship wise obviously, storyline wise) with Louise’s mental issues becoming severe at a particularly awkward family dinner, where Louise had a delusion and ended up slapping Nolan. Ems while initially suspicious/jealous of Louise, quickly clocked on that Nolan was right and that her family were actually drugging her with anti-malaria medicine of all things, to make her suffer delusions, so her mother could keep control of her inheritence. When that was exposed of course, Lolan found a legal loophole and tied the knot, giving Nolan and therefore Louise control of the money. Louise’s mother, now living in the Hamptons for real was having none of it and her passing shot was that they only drugged Louise to make her forget killing her father, smells like bullshit but it seems she may have fallen for it. Meanwhile after Malcolm’s death, Victoria broke it off with David because you know, she values her life, and it seemed that David and Amanda would get their happily ever after. Ok so I’m now going to start calling these moments, Revenge Moments, so a Revenge Moment is when it seems a character is content at life and has abudant positivity about the future, why it’s significant is because it is always immediately followed by chaos, death, and misery. Of course the episode didn’t end on the Revenge Moment and of course Victoria didn’t just slip into the background “to let David be happy” (also why is she still living in David’s house), instead her surrogate daughter came round Margaux, now I actually thought they should tell Margaux the truth because she was making so much trouble and they had to concentrate on sorting Margaux, but I now realise that telling Margaux was not the right strategy at all,but it was for Victoria, because she’s now provoked Margaux into Revenge on Amanda, and the Revenge spiral continues. Now it’s Margaux and Victoria with the red pen and Amanda and David in the crosshairs, Daniel’s been made a martyr.